


I leArnED To pAy pASta, i LEarNed tO cOoK rEnT

by Lazy_Muffin



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: (yr 13), Ace/Aro Christine, Bi Evan, Bi Jeremy, DEH took place in junior year, Evan Jared Jeremy and Michael knew eachother since before preschool, F/F, Galaxy Gals, Gay Jared, Gay Michael, Gravity Falls References, Heathers References, Jared Evan and Jeremy were forced to take orchestra for 8 years, Jared is older by a minute, Jeremy and Jared are twins, Kleinsen, M/M, Mentions of pokéballs being thrown at Jeremy, Michael is the mum friend, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pan Brooke, Pinkberry, Trans Michael, ace/aro jenna, arson bros, bi rich, boyf riends - Freeform, brooke/chloe, but jeremy is taller, chat fic, don't hate if some of them arent orchestra instruments, heteroflexible chloe, i looked most of it up on google, idk much about the american schooling system but I think thats right?, lesbian Alana, meremy hell, michael plays the piano, most of them love theatre and musicals, pan jake, pan zoe, post squip, richjake, same with BMC, the Connor Project gang don't know the squip squad, they all get together in the first 3 chapters, they are all in senior year now, they play a bunch of different instruments, they still go to different schools, they're all adorable idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23609497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazy_Muffin/pseuds/Lazy_Muffin
Summary: IamLohstforwords: how did you know you liked each other?Reinds: well...Boyf: he threw pokeballs at me.IamLohstforwords: ... what?Reinds: these Pokeball.jpg AND FYI, THEY HAD CONFESSION NOTES INSIDE THEM!!Boyf: WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? YOU LITERALLY PEGGED THEM AT ME FASTER THAN I COULD OPEN THEM-----A Be More Chill chat fic thingo... there could be actual writing and stuff later on, but I'm planning on keeping it this way...
Relationships: Alana Beck/Zoe Murphy, Brooke Lohst/Chloe Valentine, Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman, Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yello_turtur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yello_turtur/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intro and Brooke having a gay crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reinds - Michael  
> Boyf - Jeremy  
> JD - Jake  
> i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw - Rich  
> IamLohstforwords - Brooke  
> BeMyValentine - Chloe  
> YouSeeMeRolan - Jenna  
> ILovePlayRehearsal - Christine
> 
> Heyyy, for those who have read this before, yes. I did change Jenna's username.. I think this one sounds better and is more creative :)
> 
> -Lazy Muffin

Reinds created a group chat

Reinds added Boyf, JD, i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw, IamLohstforwords, BeMyValentine, YouSeeMeRolan, and ILovePlayRehearsal

[Group Chat currently has 4 members online]

Reinds named the chat I leArnED To pAy pASta, i LEarNed tO cOoK rEnT

JD: Y E S

JD: T H A N K Y O U

Reinds: your welcome

JD: wait... why are we paying pasta and cooking rent?

Reinds: well... y'see.. Jere was singing freeze your brain, and he accidentally said it the wrong way 'round XD

Boyf: Micha!! YOU _PROMISED_ NOT TO SPEAK OF THAT!!

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: Oop.

Reinds: It was great!

Reinds: he didn't even realise he sang it wrong until Christine kicked the door down and screeched: ArE yOu FuCkInG sErIoUs HeErE!?

Reinds: it was funny

  
IamLohstforwords created a group chat

IamLohstforwords added Reinds and Boyf

[Group Chat currently has 3 members online]

IamLohstforwords named the chat I'M HAVING A GAY CRISIS

IamLohstforwords: gays

Boyf: I AM HEERE, QUEER AND... ready to listen...

Reinds: whats up Brooke?

IamLohstforwords: how did you know you liked each other?

Reinds: well...

Boyf: he threw pokeballs at me.

IamLohstforwords: ... what?

Reinds: these [Pokeball.jpg](https://images.app.goo.gl/D5PNfnEw8LYyREzU8) AND FYI, THEY HAD CONFESSION NOTES INSIDE THEM!!

Boyf: WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? YOU LITERALLY PEGGED THEM AT ME FASTER THAN I COULD OPEN THEM

Reinds: ...

Reinds: ... oh... oops..?

Reinds: atleast it worked?

IamLohstforwords: XD

IamLohstforwords: I probably shouldn't do that tho..

Boyf: yeah... thats a good idea, for the safety of everyone... I had bruises for weeks!

Reinds: riiiight

Boyf: I DID!!

IamLohstforwords: so what should I do then?

Reinds: this is about Chloe right?

IamLohstforwords: ...

IamLohstforwords: ... yes.

Reinds: well, you know her better than any of us do right?

IamLohstforwords: ya

Reinds: so tell us, what does she like? Do you have any ideas on how to confess? Do you want to confess? 

IamLohstforwords: but like, what if she doesn't like girls? She's only ever gone out with guys.. what if she hates me? 

Boyf: c'mon Brookie, you know she won't hate you.. and if she says no, which I am 110% sure she won't, we can all go to pinkberry and drown in your sorrows with you..

Reinds: not helping, Jere

Boyf: sorry..

Reinds: here's an idea. Take her to pinkberry, coz its a place you both love, and drop subtle hints that you like her. Like flirt, but hide it in your convo or smth... and then, just before you leave, look her straight in the eye and tell her how you feel.

IamLohstforwords: wow... thanks Michael! that was actually rlly helpful. I might do that! 

IamLohstforwords: Thanks for your help guys!! <3

Boyf: np!! GOOD LUCK BROOKIE!! <3

Reinds: you're welcome <3

[IamLohstforwords went offline]

[Boyf went offline]

[Reinds went offline]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy sorry abt any typos or anything!! Pls let me know in the comments if anything is weird or confusing!! 😁


	2. Brooke's Gay Crisis is over...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [I'M HAVING A GAY CRISIS currently has 1 member online]
> 
> IamLohstforwords: GUYSSS
> 
> IamLohstforwords: OHMYGOD
> 
> IamLohstforwords: GUESS WHAT YOU GUYS!?
> 
> IamLohstforwords: No...?
> 
> IamLohstforwords: okie :,)
> 
> Or 
> 
> Brooke has some news 😀👀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm sorry, this one's a little short... I didn't really know how to add more without it feeling weird so this is what I've got... :/
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading! Comment any ideas or anything you'd like to see in here and I'll see what I can do!
> 
> Love y'all,
> 
> -Lazy Muffin

[BeMyValentine is currently online]

IamLohstforwords: Hey Chlo

BeMyValentine: Heyy

IamLohstforwords: do ya wanna go 2 pinkberry w/ me?

BeMyValentine: DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK!? YES!! LET'S GO!!

IamLohstforwords: Alrighty! I'll meet you at 1:00!

BeMyValentine: Ok! See you there!

  
[I'M HAVING A GAY CRISIS currently has 1 member online]

IamLohstforwords: GUYSSS

IamLohstforwords: OHMYGOD

IamLohstforwords: GUESS WHAT YOU GUYS!?

IamLohstforwords: No...?

IamLohstforwords: okie :,)

[Reinds is now online]

Reinds: WAAAAAIT BROOKIE!!

Reinds: COME BAAAAACK!!

IamLohstforwords: Jerry?

Reinds: yah lol. Micha's asleep

Reinds: my phone is too flat to turn on

IamLohstforwords: ohhhhhh

IamLohstforwords: anyway, guess what!?

Reinds: wot? 👀

IamLohstforwords: I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND FGDFHDHDHFHDGHFHDG

Reinds: Ó SHIT RLLY!? THATS AWESOME!!

IamLohstforwords: yah! I asked her out to pinkberry like Michael said, then just before we left I yelled "CHLOE MARGERET VALENTINE PLEASEGOOUTWITHME" and she was like, "as... girlfriends?" And I was like: "OHMYFUCKINGGODYESCHLOE" and she was like: "... okay."

Reinds: sykw6ywktq jtqwyk

Reinds: sorry.. its michael. I stole my phone back

Reinds: ok.. just read the last texts and OH MY GOD BROOKE! THATS AMAZING!

IamLohstforwords: IKR!? Thankyou for your help!! 

Reinds: anytime <3

IamLohstforwords: <3

  
[I leArnED To pAy pASta, i LEarNed tO cOoK rEnT currently has 5 members online]

YouSeeMeRolan: guys! Guess what I just saw!!

BeMyValentine: OMG WHAT!?

YouSeeMeRolan: I just walked in on JAKE AND RICH, SEMI _NUDE_ AND _HUMPING_ EACH OTHER IN THE BATHROOM!!

BeMyValentine: OHMYFUCKINGOD FDHFHFGHDFHHDHDDH

Reinds: ...

Reinds: I feel sorry for your eyes.

Reinds: *snorts* -P2

YouSeeMeRolan: I'M WHEEZING!!

YouSeeMeRolan: Rich ran out of the bathroom, struggling to get his shirt back on, and yelled: "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"

YouSeeMeRolan: and I'm just like: "riiiiiiiiiiiiight"

YouSeeMeRolan: and if you're wondering how or why I was in the boys bathroom...

YouSeeMeRolan: I accidentally opened the wrong door.. either that, or they were in the girls bathroom...

[i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw is now online]

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: hi guys

[JD is now online]

JD: hello.

BeMyValentine: hello indeed.

YouSeeMeRolan: *COUGH COUGH* hi Richard *COUGH* hi Jakob *COUGH COUGH*

Reinds: 👀

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: okayy... so yknow how I said its not what it looks like?

YouSeeMeRolan: yah 😀

JD: welp.. its exactly what it looked like.

BeMyValentine: FHDGFHDGFHDJDHJD

YouSeeMeRolan: IFUCKING _KNEW_

[Boyf is now online]

Boyf: So... Rich is the Veronica to Jake's JD?

ILovePlayRehearsal: ohmygod jere XD

JD: um... sort of?

JD: if by that you mean we're dating, then yes.

JD: but their relationship in particular probably isn't the best to compare most people's relationships to, and I wouldn't say ours is like their's at all. I mean, their relationship was very toxic. JD lied and manipulated Veronica into killing people and tried to convince her to help him murder their entire school... and I'm pretty sure they got together by Veronica breaking into JD's room through his window and then fucking him so... 

JD: Veronica had to pretend to kill herself to show JD that she was 100% not into what they were doing anymore...

JD: If that isn't a toxic relationship, idk what is.

Boyf: ...

Boyf: well damn. Thats some real dedication right there.

ILovePlayRehearsal: well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw...

Boyf: Ohmygod Christine! 😂 you made me do a spit take! 

Reinds: I am drenched.

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: damn. That rant was hot. 😍😍

JD: why thankyou,,,

Reinds: ohmygod stoppp

Reinds: take your gay asses somewhere else

Boyf: Micha.. you're literally the gayest one here..?

Reinds: welp..

Reinds: carry on then

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: 😍😍😍😍😚😚💞💓💖😍😚😙

JD: 💞💟💝💘💓💋😚😍😗😙😍😙😚😗💞💟💝💖

[YouSeeMeRolan went offline]

[IamLohstforwords went offline]

[BeMyValentine went offline]

[ILovePlayRehearsal went offline]

[Boyf went offline]

[Reinds went offline]

[i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw went offline]

[JD went offline]


	3. The Kool Kids Klub has Arrived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The DEH gang are finally here!! Introductions for everyone is also in this chap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reinds - Michael  
> Boyf - Jeremy  
> JD - Jake  
> i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw - Rich  
> IamLohstforwords - Brooke  
> BeMyValentine - Chloe  
> YouSeeMeRolan - Jenna  
> ILovePlayRehearsal - Christine  
> BathBombs - Jared  
> Acorn™ - Evan  
> Zozo Murph - Zoey  
> Beckles - Alana
> 
> Ps: all the orchestra and music stuff I just googled so idk if thats actually right or not so pls correct me if I'm wrong :)

[I leArnED To pAy pASta, i LEarNed tO cOoK rEnT currently has 8 members online]

Boyf: gays

BeMyValentine: hi

YouSeeMeRolan: what is it? Something interesting?

ILovePlayRehearsal: you called?

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: what's up Tallass?

IamLohstforwords: what's up Jerry?

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: jinx

IamLohstforwords: jinx

Reinds: ugh

Boyf: um.. anyway... 

Boyf: is it ok if I add my brother and a few of his friends?

Reinds: OHMYGODYES!!

Reinds: They need to meet him!!

Boyf: ok.. I'll take that as a yes..?

IamLohstforwords: of course Jerry!

IamLohstforwords: why the fuck didn't I know about this brother of your's sooner!?

Boyf: coz he's alot all at once...

Reinds: he is amazing!!

Boyf: 😒 thanks

Reinds: you know I love you <3

Boyf: *siiigh* yeah, I know...

Boyf: anyway!! I'd like to introduce you to my brother...

Boyf added BathBombs

BathBombs: hi everyone.

BathBombs: 'tis I,

BathBombs: The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman!

Reinds: fuck yeah!

IamLohstforwords: so.. your Jerry's brother..?

BathBombs: sadly.. tis true

Boyf: 😒

Boyf: you're just being mean coz you're short

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: hold the fuck up.

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: how short?

Bathbombs: Jeremy. Don't. You. Dare.

Boyf: he's 5'5

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: ugggh.. why isn't there ANYONE shorter than me!?

Boyf: idk dude, I'm like, 5'7

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: woww. No need to flex

Boyf: OHMYGOD!! I JUST REALIZED!! I'M THE ALPHA TWIN!!

BathBomb: NO YOU ARE NOT!! I AM OLDER THAN YOU!!

Boyf: ONLY BY A MINUTE!! HEIGHT TRUMPS AGE!!

BathBombs: I BEG TO FUCKING DIFFER

Reinds: GAYS!! STOP FIGHTING MY GOD.

Reinds: Jared's been here less than a minute and y'all are already at each other's throats.. what the fuck you guys?

BeMyValentine: Geez Michael, you sound like my mum 

Reinds: tyty.. 

Reinds: it's both a blessing, and a curse

BeMyValentine: lol

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: you gotta admit tho, it was quite amusing..

Reinds: shush you!! no it wasnt 😡😡

Reinds: it's like trying to look after a bunch of 2 year olds! I'm gonna need more help than this...

Reinds added Acorn™, Zozo Murph and Beckles to the chat

Acorn™: hi.

BathBombs: hi Evs

Boyf: Hi future brother in law!

Reinds: so are you guys actually a thing? I never have been able to tell with Jere joking about it all the time..

[Kool Kids Klub currently has 4 members active] 

BathBombs: Hey Evs, is it cool to tell them?

Acorn™: yah.. I think so..

BathBombs: alrighty!!

Beckles: are you sure?

Acorn™: yeah! I'm sure ^v^

Zozo Murph: if you say so..

[I leArnED To pAy pASta, i LEarNed tO cOoK rEnT currently has 12 members online]

Zozo Murph: CAN CONFIRM!!

Zozo Murph: JARED AND EVAN ARE DATING!!

Reinds: wow Jare, you finally had the guts to ask him out...

BathBombs: uhh.. actually...

Acorn™: I asked him out :P

Reinds: omg nvm!! Nice going Ev!! 👍👍

BathBombs: rood.

Zozo Murph: ANYWAY!! 

Zozo Murph: I don't know anyone here... who are these people we're yet to meet? Intros pls!! And, if its ok.. anything else we need to know?

Zozo Murph: My name is Zoe Murphy. She/her. I'm pan, and I'm dating Alana <3

Boyf: I'm Jeremy Heere. He/him. Jared's taller, bi twin brother.. but I think everyone already knows me so.. 

Beckles: Hi. I am Alana Beck. She/her pronouns please. I am a Proud Lesbian. I can't wait to get to know you all.

IamLohstforwords: hi everyone! My name is Brooklyn Lohst, but people just call me Brooke... except for Jere who calls me Brookie. Pinkberry is the best. Fight me. I'm pretty sure I'm pan.. idk I'm still figuring it out, I could be bi.. she/her pronouns!! but anyway, I'm dating Chloe

Reinds: I'm Michael Mell!! He/him. Hella gay.. but only for Jere.. You hurt him, I hurt you.

BeMyValentine: hi guys, I'm Chloe Valentine. I'm dating Brooke and I'm heteroflexible. She/her. I also love Pinkberry

ILovePlayRehearsal: Hi! Christine Canigula! She/her. I'm Aro/Ace and can I just say that I just absolutely LOVE play rehearsal!

i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw: Rich Goranski, I'm bi, obviously.. male pronouns thanks. Jake and I are fucking.. love you bro, full homo <3

JD: Yo! I'm Jake Dillinger! He/him. I am pan and I love Rich, full homo too bro <3

YouSeeMeRolan: Hi! Jenna Rolan.. Ace/aro, she/her. I'm a blogger! My blog is called Rolan With Jenna. You guys should check it out sometime!

BathBombs: I am The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman! He/him. I'm Jeremy's awesome older twin brother, and am completely gay for Evan.. I eat bathbombs in my spare time... the strawberry ones taste the best in my opinion...

Acorn™: Hi. I'm Evan Hansen. I like trees. I am bi and dating Jared. He/him. I.. broke my arm last summer.. Jare calls me acorn because I fell out of a tree..

Reinds: *snorts* ohmygod! _That's_ why he calls you acorn! I thought it was about that time when you brought that squirrel home to your mum's place back in freshman year..

Zozo Murph: you did _what?_ XD

Reinds: he did. It was sooo funny! Ms Hansen was horrified that he not only 1) managed to catch it, but 2) he brought it inside

[JD went offline]

[i'M tOtaLlY bI nOw went offline]

BathBombs: I remember that! Weren't you forced to take an extracurricular activity for a month as punishment?

Acorn™: uhhh... yeah....

BathBombs: You never did say what it was..

Zozo Murph: waiiit a second.

Zozo Murph: is that why you were in band practice that one time? 

Acorn™: uhh.. yes.

BathBombs: I woulda thought you'd pick something to do with trees?

Acorn™: I-

Acorn™: Actually didn't think of that at the time

Zozo Murph: tbh I was kinda jelous of you.. I mean, you could play just about any instrument first try.

Boyf: that would be the 8 years of orchestra with none other than Mrs Kleinman that Evan, Jared and I were forced to take. We're actually still taking it now.. I'm pretty sure Michael used to go too but idk

Boyf: anyway..

Boyf: Evan can play: flute, recorder, trumbone, trumpet, tuba, clarinet, violin, piano, viola, cello, oboe, bassoon and saxophone

Boyf: Jared: clarinet, harp, flute and piccolo

Boyf: and me: piano, cello, flute and the glockenspiel

IamLohstforwords: omg Jerry! How did we not know about this??

Boyf: well.. idk.. its kinda embarrassing

Reinds: what are you taking about? Its amazing! I wish I could play that many instruments!

Boyf: you can tho?

Boyf: I'm sure I saw you that one time in that room with the grand piano playing Mozart's Sonata no. 18 in d major...

Boyf: correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that almost impossible to play?

ILovePlayRehearsal: Wow! That's so cool! You guys gotta show us your skills sometime :D

Reinds: uhh idk.. I feel weird playing infront of other ppl

ILovePlayRehearsal: awww oki! if you change your mind tho, I wouldn't mind listening :)

Reinds: ok :)

ILovePlayRehearsal: ok :)

[IamLohstforwords went offline]

[Zozo Murph went offline]

[BeMyValentine went offline]

[YouSeeMeRolan went offline]

[Acorn™ went offline]

[BathBombs went offline]

[ILovePlayRehearsal went offline]

[Boyf went offline]

[Reinds went offline]

[Beckles went offline]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any mistakes, pls let me know! Your comments mean alot!!
> 
> I'm sorry abt being so inactive! I don't even rlly have a proper excuse for why that is.. Just know that chapter 4 may be a while away, cause I only just finished this chap now and wanted to give you guys something so 😅 enjoy!
> 
> -Lazy Muffin


End file.
